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Peace Charade

Posted by DC -

Wed, Sep 1, 2010

DC, Gaza

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Secretary Hillary Clinton allows cameras to document peace talks:

Photos via Yahoo!/AP:

Full Transcript (Script):

PEACE CHARADE – A “Peace Talks” Parody

Location: In Front of White House

Setting

Side-by-side:

  • To the far right, standing around or sitting at a desk:
    • Netanyahu
    • Clinton in the middle
    • Abbas
  • To the far left, behind bars, in a cage, barbed wire, etc.:
    • Three people holding behind Gaza-Prison
  • “Off-stage” – one settler and one IDF soldier with many settlements.

——————-

CLINTON

(Addressing camera/crowd/public)

Welcome to our semi-annual Peace Charade, where the failure to reach a peace agreement is a success for Israel’s continued expansion of settlements! We’ve gathered outside of the White House on this beautiful day in order to begin negotiations for bringing about peace, or something, to the Middle East!

CLINTON (cont’d)

(Adressing Netanyahu/Abbas)

Gentlemen, can we begin negotiations?

NETANYAHU/ABBAS

Yes.

PEOPLE OF GAZA #1

Can we say something?

CLINTON/NETANYAHU/ABBAS

(Turning to face People in Gaza)

NO!

CLINTON

Sorry about that interruption, we’ll try to not let it happen again. Gentlemen?

NETANYAHU

Yes, well, I’ve brought some friends with me who I think will contribute significantly to the direction of our peace negotiations.

CLINTON

Oh, okay, well, I don’t know if –

NETANYAHU

Boys!

Settler and “IDF” soldier come out carrying two settlements.

NETANYAHU

Abbas, will you please scoot over for my friends?

ABBAS

(sighs)

Of course…

Abbas moves further to the right and the Settler and “IDF” soldier place the settlements in between Netanyahu and Abbas. The soldiers/settlers walk away.

CLINTON

Wow, thanks for showing significant restraint there! You could have built a lot more settlements, but you’re obviously very committed to peace in the Middle East. I feel like we’re really moving forward in this Peace Charade.

PEOPLE OF GAZA #2

Why don’t we get any voice in these talks? Why are we shut out, ignored, and vilified?

NETANYAHU

We can’t listen to what they have to say, that’ll undermine our security! Clinton, you need to do something about this before we do!

CLINTON

(Pulling a document from her pocket and reading it aloud)

The Government of the United States hereby condemns the People of Gaza for speaking outloud, and thereby threatening the security of Israel, our Best Friends Forever. (Turning to Abbas) Now, Abbas, please get your people under control!

PEOPLE OF GAZA #1

When we have no representation in the peace process, nearly half of Palestinians are left out of the discussion!

PEOPLE OF GAZA #2

And what do you mean talking about “Israeli Security”? Israel is the only country with nuclear weapons in the Middle East! That threatens Palestinian security and the security of the entire region!

CLINTON

Now, now! That’s not something we talk about!

ABBAS

(To People of Gaza)

Come on guys, please stop! I’m trying to negotiate here! Pleeeeeeease.

NETANYAHU

While you all sort that out, I’ve got a few more things to add to the peace process. Boys?

The settler and “IDF” soldier place another settlement to the other side of Abbas, boxing him in. The soldiers/settlers walk away.

CLINTON

Wow, even more restraint demonstrated by Israel! You are so committed to this Peace Charade. If only the People of Gaza would stop interrupting, then we could make some serious progress. Anyways, back to the negotiations. Do you have anything to add, Abbas?

ABBAS

Well, to be honest, we would truly appreciate it if Israel would maybe consider stop building so many settlements. If that’s not an inconvenience. This is our land, you know… if that’s okay.

PEOPLE OF GAZA #1

And what about us? We live in the world’s largest open-air prison camp! We constantly live under siege, without basic needs, and in continual fear of being bombed and attacked. Why do we get no say in what needs to happen to bring about peace?

NETANYAHU

You know, this Peace Charade are really taking way too much time for the security of Israel. It appears that we will have to take the action necessary for peace into our own hands. Boys?

The Settler and “IDF” soldier bring in one huge settlement and place it in front of Abbas, obscuring him. He must stand to be seen. The soldiers/settlers stick around.

NETANYAHU

And, this, exactly, is what we were hoping this Peace Charade would accomplish! Peace at last.

CLINTON

(To Netanyahu)

Wow, you really restrained for as long as you could. I really congratulate Israel for their dedication to peace! And, as we always say, I expect we’ll see a viable Palestinian state in two years. A Palestinian state is always two years away!

CLINTON

(To Netanyahu/Abbas)

This Peace Charade have been a huge success in achieving peace in the Middle East. Now, for President Obama’s sake, can we pose for a photo-op?

Abbas, Netanyahu, and Clinton come together within the array of the settlements. Clinton is behind them (giving a thumbs up) as Netanyahu and Abbas shake hands and they are juxtaposed to the People of Gaza who are still in an open-air prison. The photo is taken.

Film turns to still shot of the photo-op with the words MISSION ACCOMPLISHED in large letters above the White House.

Popularity: 2% [?]

  • http://ingaza.wordpress.com/ Sister Begonia

    That just about sums it up! The only thing missing were the bombs dropping in the background. What a joke!

  • http://hubpages.com/hub/online-Dog-training-Guide Kathy Ungerleider

    Tony quit as PM just before the credit-crunch crisis, but the seeds were sown on his watch

  • Sharon Hill

    I am so glad that Hillary has woke up and left the new left with all of those clowns that operate in that relam of thinking.

  • Sharon Hill

    Hillary is standing up for the right side at last …….let freedom ring though out the land fo rthe GOP baby !

  • Julie H. Parish

    Fight for the left side of the Gaza strip.

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